--- 1 ---
The problem with running from God!
The question posed in John 6:69 always gets in the way. Frustration got the best of me this past week but, really, it all boils down to that question- to whom shall I go? If I run from God, I only run deeper into my own will and that only winds you up in a whale of trouble. Just ask Jonah.
So, though I am still exasperated at my own inadequacy and I come up dry every time I want to say or write something and I wish I could just hide, the universe isn't big enough to hide from God, so I need to suck it up and try again.
The question posed in John 6:69 always gets in the way. Frustration got the best of me this past week but, really, it all boils down to that question- to whom shall I go? If I run from God, I only run deeper into my own will and that only winds you up in a whale of trouble. Just ask Jonah.
So, though I am still exasperated at my own inadequacy and I come up dry every time I want to say or write something and I wish I could just hide, the universe isn't big enough to hide from God, so I need to suck it up and try again.
Devotion has a name, it's Tamara Benko. That's my wife of 26 years and 26 million frustrations and setbacks. I love this lady so much. She anchors me when I am about to lose my mind and she is the walking talking personification of never-give-up. --- 3 --- Father's day is this Sunday. I guess on some level, I always thought this was kind of a hallmark holiday. This Father's day will be the 47th one for me and my Dad. For too many of those years, I had a terrible relationship with that man and that is something I am having a tough time forgiving myself for, especially in light of the fact that this will almost certainly be the last Father's day we share. Treasure your Dad, if you still have him.
--- 4 ---
How long will it take me to learn that my feelings are not relevant to the question of salvation? In fact, the are often counter-productive. If my guilt causes me to become depressed and frozen in quicksand, what in the world has that accomplished?
As my wise friend Christie Martin put it, Is it not enough that you must carry your cross, that you let the devil beat you with it too? Christie is good at those Spiritual head slaps.
Having struggled with Depression for a long time, I was struck that the clinical condition uses the same term as what happens to the ground when hit by a giant boulder, falling from a great distance.Yea! That's what it feels like. Depression is as much environmental as mental, as much metaphysical as physical. In fact, Depression affects all of the four persons., but I believe it starts in the spiritual person and grows out from there. It starts from that basic frustration of seeking, and hoping to find, happiness and satisfaction in a world full of sorrow and hate and suffering and death.On a logical level, this is roughly equal to trying to find a Buick in a cabbage patch but we are not logical beings. In our over-medicated world, we try to reduce everything to a health issue. Give me a break.
Last year, we interviewed a friend of mine, whose son fell from a church ceiling to his death.
Paxil isn't going to help with that.
You all know it;
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
It is written by a man named Reinhold Niebuhr and the message is pretty straightforward- God grant me the ability to see things as they really are and act accordingly. Ok, so you knew that. But did you know that the prayer is whispered during DTB's defacto theme song Higher Power ?

--- 7 ---
Though I am back with the DTB group for the time being at least, I am done with facebook. Has there ever been a more awful thing created in human history? For each of it's good and worthwhile purposes, I'll show you five ways it ruins lives, destroys reputations and productivity and causes people, you have never met, to drive you absolutely out of your mind.
For those of you who used it the right way, I apologize. But one more day on facebook and I was going to start hearing voices from dogs and having thoughts of climbing a radio tower. Good riddance. I do not yet know what role I am going to continue in at DTB but I am absolutely certain it will not involve a personal account on Facebook.
UPDATE JUNE 16: It appears the functionality of DTB is going to depend on my getting back on Facebook but I will be dropping people from my friends list who are a stumbling block for me.
Though I am back with the DTB group for the time being at least, I am done with facebook. Has there ever been a more awful thing created in human history? For each of it's good and worthwhile purposes, I'll show you five ways it ruins lives, destroys reputations and productivity and causes people, you have never met, to drive you absolutely out of your mind.
UPDATE JUNE 16: It appears the functionality of DTB is going to depend on my getting back on Facebook but I will be dropping people from my friends list who are a stumbling block for me.
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I think you need a retreat, John. You're wounded. We all are. Retreat.
ReplyDeleteI have nowhere to retreat to.
ReplyDeleteI have an idea if you can swing it. Men's ACTS Retreat, August 9 to 12, here in Amarillo. I'm not kidding. If you can manage the plane ticket, we can get a scholarship for the retreat fee. This ACTS or another closer to you, but I think Illinois or Kentucky is closest and at least going here you'd have "family" to see you off on your journey. I think Donald would come up, too.
DeleteBy the way, Christie and Donald. Check out Jennifer Fulwiler's quicktake #4 about the hottest city on earth.
ReplyDelete"Then, when we got to the part about the hottest city in the world, it was kind of anticlimactic. My son finally vocalized what the rest of us had been thinking when he asked, “How is that different from where we live?”"
She lives in Texas, am I right? I'm not sayin'...I'm jes sayin'
I know! And did you see that wasp thing? I've killed two of those IN MY HOUSE!
DeleteAwwww...thank you for saying those nice things about me. Not always deserved I must say. Its very easy to tell someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and move forward. Much much harder thing to do.
ReplyDeletethis is from one of my favorite movies Anne of Green Gables:
Anne Shirley: Can't you even imagine you're in the depths of despair?
Marilla Cuthbert: No I cannot. To despair is to turn your back on God.
Its very hard to remember to turn towards God. Life can just be so hard sometimes.